Buying Presents vs Being Present
This was not how I'd envisioned my last day with Kapil in Melbourne. We were out on a hunt…for presents.
It was the last day of my first visit to Australia. Kapil and I had spent a fortnight travelling along the gorgeous east coast of the country—Sydney, Gold Coast, Brisbane, Cairns and Melbourne. Later that night I'd be saying goodbye to Kapil and heading back to Bangalore. (We were in a long-distance relationship for over 2 years...a story for another time). I'd been picking up presents and souvenirs for family and friends through the trip but was yet to find something nice for a couple of colleagues who had generously offered to take on some of my workload in my absence.
The quest for these presents had already taken up all morning so I was a bit on edge. Then Kapil, who had been nothing but patient and helpful all morning, suggested that it might be ok if I took back a bag of duty-free chocolates. I snapped at him. Did he not understand that I wanted to thank these people “properly” for helping me out? Kapil's face fell and as I watched him I realised, only seconds too late, my foolishness in allowing what should have been a simple task become a tedious chore that was not only taking up all our time, but also consuming all my attention. It would be months before Kapil and I saw each other again, so what we both wanted was to just relax and enjoy the remainder of our time together. This was the reason for my impatience with the task at hand. It was also why Kapil had made that suggestion. I apologised to him immediately and we spent the rest of that sunny day exploring the little alleys and laneways of Melbourne. Later that night, at the airport, I bought 2 big bags of assorted chocolates.
I would like to tell you that my colleagues were delighted to receive those chocolates. I am sure they enjoyed them, but a decade later, I have no recollection of it. Also, if there is an algorithm for effortless presents and souvenir shopping when travelling, I’m yet to stumble upon it. Aside from sunny memories and some goofy pictures, what I do still have to show for that summer day in Melbourne is a resolve not to let the urgent, but ultimately inconsequential, overshadow my enjoyment of people, places and experiences. It is not always easy to tell the urgent from the important, but the more I practise, the better I get.
